Suburban Knightmares

One of my favorite websites is The Spoony Experiment, a website where a fellow known as The Spoony One reviews various movies, video games, and other aspects of popular culture. While informative, the main draw of his reviews is, to me, the hysterical way he’ll tear them a new one for their faults – it’s internet snark at its finest.

Until recently, Spoony was a member of a collective of such reviewers known as That Guy With the Glasses. While it largely functions as a loose confederation, the various members of TGWTG will often make guest appearances in each other’s reviews. Usually these are quick cameos, but sometimes a review will turn into a fully-fledged crossover between two (or more) reviewers.

Sometimes, though, the TGWTG crew pulls out all the stops…

Each year, the reviewers get together and put on a large multi-part production as a group, turning the proverbial dials up to eleven when they do. One year it was a giant battle royal between them all, another year it was them trying to overthrow a country, etc. But there’s one such spectacle that’s of particular interest.

The 2011 TGWTG team-up was called Suburban Knights, and it involves the group going on an epic quest to recover a magical artifact…while dressed up as famous characters from various fantasy-based media. It’s pretty silly, but then, that’s sort of the point.

Before going any further, it should be noted that this article will contain SPOILERS. For what it’s worth, I recommend watching the mini-series, as it’s funny and only about as long as a feature film (e.g. about two hours).

Malecite

“Tell me, what do you think of the twenty-first century?”

The reason I’m going on about this is because of the villain in Suburban Knights, a ruthless sorcerer named Malecite (pronounced “malachite,” which I think is how they should spell it too, but the credits list it as “Malecite”). Malecite is searching for a powerful artifact that he created long ago – a gauntlet known as Malecite’s Hand – that will allow him to use his magic without drawing upon his life force.

Incredibly old, Malecite is driven by a deep hatred for the rise of technology that ended the reign of magic in the world. He has sought to regain Malecite’s Hand for millenia, as it gives him the power to cast spells with impunity, and thus bring about the end of the era of technology.

Available Character Points: 264 (level ten) + 30 CP (first-, third-, fifth-, seventh-, and ninth-level feats) + 6 (human bonus feat) + 10 (three disadvantages; Dependent, History, and Hunted) + 10 (Fast Learner) = 320 CP.

Malecite’s disadvantages represent his enduring obsession (for over two thousand years!) with finding his gauntlet, the reasons he lost it in the first place (which comes back to haunt him at the climax of the series), and that groups opposed to his finding it and carrying out his plan continually pop up (there have assuredly been others throughout the millenia who rose to combat Malecite’s ambition).

The above notes that, as a 10th-level character, Malecite has five feats from his levels. This is in reference to Pathfinder’s increased pace of giving characters feats – every odd-numbered level, rather than every third level. While it’s only a difference of one feat here, by 20th level, this results in a Pathfinder-based Eclipse character having 18 CP more than a “normal” (e.g. 3.5-based) Eclipse character.

Of course, that’s just looking at feats alone – the gap between Pathfinder and 3.5, as judged in Eclipse, is actually slightly wider. For example, Pathfinder characters in Eclipse get the Pathfinder Package deal, which I’ve mentioned before, worth 12 CP. Even beyond that, if we stick to the Pathfinder paradigm of giving characters “traits” – two “half-feats” at character creation that help to flesh out their back-story and give small bonuses – that’s another 6 CP (since Eclipse prices a feat as being 6 CP, that’s what two “half-feats” are worth).

This is another benefit to using Eclipse as opposed to straight class-and-level builds – the CP breakdowns make comparison much easier. In this case, we can see that by 20th level, a Pathfinder character (that uses the traits rule) has gotten one-and-a-half more levels’ worth of abilities over his 3.5 counterparts (and don’t forget to compare racial builds – a Pathfinder-Eclipse human gets 13 CP, compared to a 3.5-Eclipse human getting 9 CP).

Ability Scores (25-point build): Str 12, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 17, Wis 10, Cha 12. These include his human racial bonus (applied to Intelligence), and the +1 bonuses from Improved Self-Development at levels 4 and 8 (added to Constitution and Dexterity, respectively).

Given that he’s incredibly ancient, as well as a pioneer of magic in the world, it seems appropriate for Malecite to have such a large point-buy allotment.

Human Traits

• Bonus feat (6 CP).
• Fast Learner, specialized in skills (3 CP).
• Humans get to pick which attribute enjoys the Pathfinder Template bonus – buying off a Corruption worth (4 CP).

Basic Purchases (97 CP)

• 10d6 Hit Dice (20 CP).
• +5 Warcraft (30 CP).
• +3 Fort save (9 CP).
• +7 Reflex save (21 CP).
• +3 Will save (9 CP).
• One simple weapon proficiency (quarterstaff) (1 CP).
• 7 skill points (7 CP).

Skills	Ranks	Ability Bonus	Class Bonus	Total
Acrobatics	4	+3 Dex	+3	+10
Intimidate	6	+1 Cha	+3	+10
Knowledge (arcana)	7	+3 Int	+3	+14
Knowledge (earth and life sciences)	2	+3 Int	+3	+8
Knowledge (physical sciences)	2	+3 Int	+3	+8
Knowledge (technology)	2	+3 Int	+3	+8
Linguistics	2	+3 Int	+3	+8
Martial Arts (urban staff combat)	10	+3 Dex	+3	+16
Perception	1	+0 Wis	+3	+5
Spellcraft	7	+3 Int	+3	+14
Stealth	2	+3 Dex	+3	+8
Survival	2	+0 Wis	+3	+5

Malecite has a grand total of 47 skill points. 40 from his +3 Intelligence bonus and 1 racial bonus rank over ten levels; the other 7 are from CP expenditures. As per the Pathfinder Package Deal, Malecite gets to have twelve skills (in addition to Craft and Profession) be class skills – these twelve are those in the table above.

The Urban Staff Combat martial art skill is from the Emergence Campaign Weblog. With a total bonus of +16, Malecite has learned eight techniques: Attack 2, Defense 4, Power 1, and Strike.

Three of Malecite’s Knowledge skills (earth and life sciences, physical sciences, and technology) are d20 Modern skills. Likewise, the bonus languages he gets from his ranks in Linguistics are deliberately undefined; anyone who’s been alive for millenia most assuredly has learned to speak more than one language!

Presuming that his Hit Dice received average rolls (after the first, which is maximized), then with his Constitution bonus Malecite should have a total of 67 hit points.

Special Abilities (165 CP)

• 10 caster levels/specialized as sorcerer only for half cost (30 CP).
• Metamagic/Triggering (6 CP).
• Metamagic/Easy (6 CP).
• Metamagic/Compact (6 CP).
• Create Relic (6 CP).
• Fast Learner (6 CP).
• Expertise (6 CP).

Expertise here grants Malecite +3 additional attacks of opportunity per round.

• Occult Sense (6 CP) with the Improved modifier (+6 CP). Malecite can sense magic itself, and knows when one of his spells has been dispelled, cancelled, or otherwise undone.
• Immunity/aging (uncommon/minor/legendary; 12 CP).
• Block (6 CP) with the Catch modifier (+6 CP). This is set to affect missile weapon attacks.
• Occult Ritual (6 CP).
• Martial Arts (3 CP).

This is the special ability that lets him strike unarmed without provoking an AoO, rather than the skill listed above.

• Body Fuel (6 CP) with the Efficient (x3; 18 CP), Versatile (6 CP), Reserve (x3; 18 CP), and Blood Magic (6 CP) modifiers.

Sinking so many CP into Body Fuel is how Malecite is still able to use magic so freely despite it draining his life force when he doesn’t have the gauntlet. While he has no magic levels himself, he can create one spell level per 2 hit points sacrificed (1 hit point for 0-level spells), and has 72 “phantom” hit points that can only be used for this purpose. He may also add up to +4 levels of metamagic that he knows to spells he casts – either with or without the gauntlet – by sacrificing an appropriate number of hit points.

Spells Known (23 CP)

Malecite knows the following spells: death blow* (2 CP), dominate person (1 CP), call lightning (arcane variant; 2 CP), cone of cold (fire variant; 2 CP), escape velocity* (2 CP), fireball (1 CP), fireball (electrical variant; 2 CP), heart breaker* (2 CP), invisibility (1 CP), locate object (1 CP), mage hand (1 CP), magic missile (1 CP), stoneskin (1 CP), trap the soul (variant that uses an ancient book rather than a diamond, and can release a prisoner via writing in the book rather than being destroyed; 2 CP), tremors* (2 CP).

These spells are bought via the sidebar on Eclipse page 11. The standard spells cost 1 CP each, while the original variants that Malecite invented cost 2 CP each. Note that these also count as Spells Known when Malecite is using Malecite’s Hand.

This is bending the rules slightly – when using Malecite’s Hand, Malecite is a spontaneous spellcaster, and should be paying double the costs listed above for his spells. However, since he’s technically buying these for use with his Body Fuel spellcasting powers, he’s paying the non-spontaneous prices. It’s a bit of cheese, but we’ll let it slide considering that he doesn’t have the gauntlet most of the time.

The spells marked with an asterisk are new spells, described as follows:

Death Blow; School transmutation; Level sorcerer/wizard 4; Casting Time 1 standard action; Components V, S; Range touch; Target creature or object touched; Duration instantaneous; Saving Throw none; Spell Resistance yes.

This spell allows you to hit a foe for massive damage. A creature or object successfully struck with an unarmed strike (not merely a touch attack) takes 1d6 points of damage per caster level (10d6 maximum). A creature killed by this spell is apparently struck by a blow of epic proportions (e.g. punched to pieces, launched into orbit, etc.) and leaves behind no physical body unless the caster wishes to do so.

Escape Velocity; School conjuration (teleportation); Level sorcerer/wizard 7; Casting Time 1 standard action; Components V, S; Range adjacent; Target one creature; Duration 1d4+1 rounds; Saving Throw Reflex negates; Spell Resistance yes.

A creature hit with this spell is apparently knocked into orbit (or otherwise launched into the atmosphere) for 1d4+1 rounds. While this seems to be because of a physical blow, the target is actually launched by a teleportation effect. Due to disorientation, a creature can take no actions while so teleported, and the caster does not know how long they will be gone.

At the end of the spell’s duration, the target lands prone in their original space. If now occupied, the target lands in the closest unoccupied space, and the creature occupying their original space is also knocked prone. If used indoors, with no way to send a creature outside (e.g. a window), the spell apparently sends them into a wall at great speed, causing them to be dazed for 1d4+1 rounds.

Heart Breaker; School necromancy [death]; Level druid 6, sorcerer/wizard 5; Casting Time 1 standard action; Components V, S; Range adjacent; Target one living creature; Duration instantaneous; Saving Throw Fortitude partial; Spell Resistance yes.

This spell allows the caster to attempt to rip out a living creature’s heart. On a failed save, the target creature takes 5 points of damage per caster level (maximum 75 points); creatures reduced to 0 hit points or less have their heart torn out of their body. On a failed save, they take 3d6 points of damage + 1 per caster level (maximum of +15). Only living creatures with a heart (GM’s prerogative) are subject to this spell.

Tremors; School evocation [earth]; Level bard 6, sorcerer/wizard 6; Range short (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels); Area 40 ft. radius spread.

This spell functions as earthquake, except as follows. The spell has only a 30% chance of causing the roof to collapse in a cave, cavern, or tunnel, a 40% chance of causing a cliff to collapse, does not open fissures on open ground, deals 25 points of damage to a structure (typically only enough to cause poorly-constructed structures to collapse completely), and water in the area is treated as being one degree rougher, as defined by the Swim skill (e.g. calm water becomes rough water, rough water becomes stormy water).

Malecite’s Hand (35 CP)

Something of a misnomer, this relic is actually the gemstone embedded on the back of the gauntlet. It bestows immense spellcasting powers on whomever wears it, though only slight control over those powers. This is usually more than enough to tempt its wearer into studying magic further (e.g. developing further base caster levels).

• 13 sorcerer magic levels (no built-in caster levels) (169 CP).
• 3 sorcerer caster levels (9 CP).
• Fast general metamagic upgrade (6 CP).
• 24 ranks in Spellcraft/corrupted for increased effect – may only be used to power Occult Rituals (24 CP).

The above shows how Malecite’s power is increased dramatically with the gauntlet – the magic levels let him use his spellcasting with much less difficulty, falling back on Body Fuel as a way of enhancing his metamagic. Moreover, it gives him enough ranks in Spellcraft to cast incredibly powerful ritual magic – this was how he was going to cast the spell to bring about the end of the age of technology before Ma-Ti interrupted him.

The above is also a good example of why GMs should limit how much CP a character is allowed to sink into a relic. With its sixfold multiplier, sinking almost one-and-a-half levels’ worth of abilities into a relic is a recipe for some truly atrocious creations. Of course, Malecite did lose it for over two thousand years, making it more of a mcguffin than anything else, which is probably the best way to handle such a thing.

Looking over Malecite’s stats, there are some areas of relative deficiency. For example, even when using his Urban Staff Combat martial art, Malecite is going to have a total AC of 17, which is woeful for a 10th-level character. Likewise, his hit points are about what you’d expect for a sorcerer of his level, which is to say that they’re not that great. It’s thanks to the comparatively weak opposition he faced in Suburban Knights (e.g. characters of much lower level) that he was able to mow through them so easily.

Likewise, I have a suspicion that I probably could have modeled Malecite’s spellcasting more artfully. Instead of essentially giving him two forms of spellcasting (generic spell levels from Body Fuel, and sorcerer magic levels in the relic), it probably would have been better to have him buy the magic levels himself with a corruption or specialization to them, which the gauntlet would have bought off.

As it stands, despite his personal power and possessing the gauntlet, Malecite lost because Ma-Ti just happened to have the relic that was created specifically to defeat Malecite. This was explained poorly in the film – I remain convinced that, in the segment where the camera zooms in on Ma-Ti’s ring, what you should hear is the Voice of the Ancient World explaining how Aeon created a ring with a loadstone capable of reflecting Malecite’s magic back at him, rather than what was played (the bit about technology being Aeon’s legacy); that would have made much more sense.

That said, if you ever want Malecite to make a dramatic return for your game, I hope the above stats help you do it.

Special thanks to Spellweaver81 and Burning8bones for their suggestions on writing this character!

Power Word: Recriminate

Yeah, it was kind of like that.

Sometimes an idea never gets off the ground, no matter how valiantly you attempt to lift it. Such is the case with my attempt to use the Eclipse point-buy d20 system in my group, which I spoke about previously. Ultimately, while some of the other players were sympathetic about it, I couldn’t rally the support of even one other person. Given the overwhelming lack of support, I’ve had to shelve all plans for using Eclipse.

It’s a pity, and I won’t say I’m not disappointed, but while it means I won’t get to put the book to good use at the table, there’s no reason I still can’t have fun with it here! You can still expect to see more Eclipse-based Pathfinder characters as the mood strikes me (though I’ll still be posting plenty of other Pathfinder material also).

Having said that, today’s character is an original one – this is the character I was originally going to play had my group given me the thumbs-up. I was originally going for an “emo” character, the sort of anti-hero type that wants to do good, even as all of his natural abilities lend themselves towards evil ends. Does the build work? Well, you be the judge…

Dirk Markson

Dirk Markson was different from other people from the moment he was born – after all, most babies are born alive.

Barely resuscitated, no one knew that when they managed to bring baby Dirk back to life, something else came through with him. However, it became clear that something was abnormal about the child fairly early on. In the first few months of his life, neighbors complained of hearing strange things and pets disappearing. When Dirk was five, he told his mother there was a “bad thing” growing in her, something that unnerved her greatly when she found out two weeks later that she was pregnant again.

Dirk, who by that point had been telling everyone about his imaginary friend, tried to tell his mother that the thing inside her was bad, no matter how often she tried to insist that it was going to be a little brother or sister. Of course, being a good son, Dirk had to take things into his own hands to save his mother…he didn’t mean for it to kill her too…

The death of Dirk’s mother was enough to convince everyone that the boy was a thing of evil, and it was only because of his “imaginary” friend – in actuality a malevolent spirit named Ilix – that he was able to escape before his own father tried to kill him. Managing to run off, Dirk managed to make his way to the capitol city, where he spent the next decade living on the streets. Had it not been for Ilix’s constant advice – teaching him to harnass the power of his mind, how to fight, and even how to channel some negative energy – Dirk would likely have come to a bad end.

Things changed for Dirk when he saw some adventurers come into town. The group were treated like rock stars; whereas Dirk was used to scorn, this group were fawned over and openly admired. Dirk immediately set his mind to becoming an adventurer, doing good deeds so that the people would respect and admire him – Ilix objected strongly, but Dirk couldn’t be swayed. He decided to join up with the next group of adventurers who would have him.

Dirk’s background here is an abbreviated version of what would have been a much more in-depth back-story had the character been given the go-ahead. Since the GM set things in a custom campaign world that – in a very Ravenloft-like manner – sometimes pulled in people from other worlds, Dirk would have come from contemporary Earth, and his tribulations would have been much more detailed. The above version should suffice for most medieval fantasy worlds.

Available Character Points: 48 CP (level one) + 6 CP (first-level feat) + 6 (human bonus feat) + 10 (three disadvantages; Healing Resistant, Irreverent, and Unlucky) = 70 CP.

Dirk’s nature as a conduit for dark forces means that the gods look askance on him; similarly, healing magic is less effective than it would normally be otherwise. His unluckiness has been around since his birth, and likely played a role in his being host to a malignant spirit…poor Dirk just can’t catch a break.

Ability Scores (20-point build): Str 11, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 12, Wis 10, Cha 17 (including +2 racial bonus).

Human Traits

• Bonus feat (6 CP).
• Fast Learner, specialized in skills (3 CP).
• Humans get to pick which attribute enjoys the Pathfinder Template bonus – buying off a Corruption worth (4 CP).

This last bullet point is an indicator that Dirk’s stats are built using the Pathfinder Package Deal, found at Eclipse Pathfinder – Basics and Races. I should mention that this will be true for pretty much all the Eclipse characters I’ll be posting.

Basic Purchases (26 CP).

• d10 Hit Die (6 CP).
• +1 Warcraft (6 CP).
• +1 Fort save (3 CP).
• +1 Will save (3 CP).
• Light armor proficiency (3 CP).
• 5 skill points (5 CP).

Skill	Ranks	Ability Bonus		Class Bonus	Total
Bluff	1		+3 Cha	+3	+7
Intimidate	1		+3 Cha	+3	+7
Knowledge (local)	1		+1 Int	+3	+5
Martial Arts (nightmare storm)	1		+3 Cha	+3	+7
Perception	1		+0 Wis	+3	+4
Stealth	1		+2 Dex	+3	+6
Survival	1		+0 Wis	+3	+4

Dirk’s basic purchases are comparatively light for a melee-oriented character. He’s skimping on weapon and armor proficiencies because he plans on fighting unarmed (see below) and is using other means – such as martial arts – to bump up his defensive abilities. He’s also elected to have his saves be more broad than strong – two +1 bonuses rather than one +2 bonus. As his first hit die is maximized, with his Constitution bonus he’ll have 11 hit points.

In regards to his Skills, Dirk has 5 ranks from CP purchases, 1 for being human, and 1 for his Intelligence bonus. As per the Pathfinder Package Deal, his class skills are Craft and Profession, as well as twelve others: Bluff, Diplomacy, Disable Device, Disguise, Intimidate, Knowledge (local), Knowledge (religion), Martial Arts, Perception, Sense Motive, Stealth, and Survival.

The Nightmare Storm martial art is taken from this post on the Emergence Campaign Weblog. Dirk was, as with all of his esoteric abilities, taught it by Ilix. With a +7 bonus to the skill, Dirk has taken Attack 1, Defense 2, and Synergy (channel checks).

Special Abilities (45 CP).

• Martial Arts (3 CP) for 1d6 damage (+3 CP).

This is the special ability, distinct from the skill.

• Witchcraft III (18 CP).
• Mana/3d6 power (6 CP).
• Two witchcraft pacts: corruption and gateway (-12 CP).
• Advanced Witchcraft: Nightforge and The Secret Order (12 CP).

It goes without saying at this point, but Ilix is Dirk’s teacher insofar as The Secret Order goes. Thanks to his ability scores, his purchase of mana, and The Secret Order, Dirk has a total of 27 power.

• Companion (6 CP) with the template modifier (+6 CP)/specialized for half-cost – the companion does not need to obey Dirk and actively works to corrupt him to evil. Companion is a familiar (-6 CP).

Dirk’s write-up never got so far as to include the stats for his monstrous familiar. Had it done so, Ilix would most likely have been built using the stats for a dire bat with a modified version of the spirit fetch template.

• Negative Energy Channeling 6/day (9 CP).
• Imbuement (unarmed combat) (6 CP).

The above math may look slightly wonky, as Dirk has spent 45 CP out of 44 remaining for special abilities. This is on purpose; 2 CP were subtracted as per the corruption witchcraft pact, which would have been folded back in as 3 CP spent by the GM. In this case, I’ve elected to add it to the negative energy channeling (which is also bought with the 6 CP Dirk receives for having a familiar) so that he can use it 3 + Cha mod times per day. The imbuement ability is bought purely as a prerequisite for using the Nightmare Storm martial art.

Overall, Dirk is a character built to have powers that have a cost to using them. He has a broad spectrum of witchcraft abilities, but using them allows through his dark patron’s power (as per the gateway witchcraft pact), and will quickly deplete him as he runs low on power. He can likewise use negative energy – and will likely develop that more as he gains levels (probably along the Hatred’s Weal advanced path) – but that has its own dangers. Overall, it’ll be tough for Dirk to avoid succumbing to the darkness as he strives to go into the light.

A Legendary Burnout

There’s a syndrome that affects thousands of gamers every year, and yet has received little coverage even inside the gaming community: supplement burnout. I’m sad to say that lately, I’ve started to fall victim to it myself.

“I’m afraid we’ll need to amputate your Core Rulebook.”

Supplement burnout can be caused by many things, but is usually due to a combination of the cost of new books, a perceived deficiency in the time and energy needed to read and absorb them, and diminished opportunity to use newly purchased materials in the game. Simply put, when you buy an expensive book, but don’t have enough time to read it and don’t think you’ll be able to put it to practical use, it’s hard to get excited about even more books coming down the line.

For me, what tipped the scales was Paizo’s Advanced Race Guide, more specifically the chapter on point-buy race construction. Well, sort of. Let’s back up a bit.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you’ll probably have noticed the passing references I’ve made to Distant Horizons Games’ book Eclipse: The Codex Persona. This book has long been of interest to me, as it makes character creation into a point-buy system that allows for unprecedented flexibility while still being compatible with 3.5 and Pathfinder. Eclipse – and its sister supplement The Practical Enchanter – are, to me, the epitome of the “options, not restrictions” ethos of Third Edition.

Hence why the Advanced Race Guide’s point-buy race-creation system depressed me, even though the rest of my gaming group was invigorated by it. To me, it was being celebrated for offering a limited subset of something that had long been available.

Now, this wasn’t the be-all and end-all of my supplement burnout. This had been building for a while – the endless parade of support materials, first from WotC and then Paizo (to their credit Paizo kept the supplement treadmill slow at first, but it’s been increasing with each passing year), as well as the proliferation of third-party products, had all taken their toll on me.

The difference was that now, I foresaw a means of putting an end to a lot of that burnout, at least for a while. Eclipse isn’t the answer to everything – pre-made adventures are still a favorite of mine, for example – but in terms of building PCs, NPCs, and even monsters, it pretty well does whatever I can think of (and, to give credit where credit is due, if there was something I couldn’t think of, I posted on the author’s blog – the Emergence Campaign Weblog, over on the blogroll to the right – and he was very nicely willing to tell me how to use the system to do so).

Given that, I’m trying to convince my group to let my next character be made with Eclipse. I’m encountering a bit more resistance than I expected – apparently the free-form options of a point-buy system unnerve them – but it’s something I’m really excited for.

Ergo, in order to brush up on making Eclipse characters, I’ve been trying my hand at some sample characters lately. These aren’t meant to be PCs, but rather are meant to build my familiarity with the system. Of course, since Eclipse is used to build characters, I decided (largely for my own amusement) to make stats for existing characters from various media.

Suit Up

This first sample character is, wait for it…legendary! Straight from CBS’ hit show How I Met Your Mother, this is Barney Stinson.

“First level? More like twenty-first level, am I right?”

If this seems like an odd character to start with, I admit that it is. What’s most significant here is that Barney is an undeniably first-level character, and is realistically defined, being from a sitcom set in the real world. Of course, what makes the character so much fun is that he bends the rules of what’s “realistically” possible, and so has a few more tricks up his finely-tailored suit sleeve than an ordinary person…

Available Character Points: 48 CP (level one) + 6 CP (level one feat) + 6 CP (human bonus feat) + 10 CP (three disadvantages; History, Showman, and Valuable) + 2 CP (duties to Goliath National Bank) = 72 CP.

Ability Scores (elite array): Str 10, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 8, Cha 17 (base score 15 +2 racial bonus).

Human Traits

• Bonus feat (6 CP).
• Fast Learner, specialized in skills (3 CP).
• Humans get to pick which attribute enjoys the Pathfinder Template bonus – buying off a Corruption worth (4 CP).

This last bullet point is an indicator that Barney’s stats are built using the Pathfinder Package Deal, found at Eclipse Pathfinder – Basics and Races.

Basic Purchases (42 CP)

• d12 Hit Die (8 CP).

Given that Barney survived being hit by a bus at full speed, he clearly isn’t too lacking where hit points are concerned. At the same time, he didn’t exactly shrug it off either, so he only has one hit die, albeit a large one. Since the first hit die is maximized, this plus his Con bonus gives him 14 hit points.

• +2 to all saves (18 CP).
• 16 skill points (16 CP).

Barney’s basic purchases illustrate why most modern characters aren’t adventurers: there’s simply no reason for them to invest significant time and expense in combat training, let alone studying how to effectively use weapons and armor. Rather, it’s far more worthwhile to learn new skills. As there is no “Pathfinder Modern,” Barney’s skills are an amalgamation of Pathfinder and d20 Modern skills, as listed below. As per the Pathfinder Package Deal, Barney treats Profession and twelve other skills as being class skills.

Skill	Ranks	Ability Bonus	Class Bonus	Other	Total
Acrobatics	1	+1 Dex	–	–	+2
Appraise	1	+0 Int, +3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Bluff	1	+3 Cha	+3	+3 Skill Focus	+10
Computer Use	1	+0 Int, +3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Diplomacy	1	+3 Cha	+3	+2 Wealth	+9
Disguise	1	+3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Gamble	1	-1 Wis	+3	–	+3
Knowledge (business)	1	+0 Int, +3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Knowledge (popular culture)	1	+0 Int, +3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Linguistics*	1	+0 Int, +3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Perform (art)	1	+3 Cha	–	–	+4
Perform (dance)	1	+3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Perform (keyboards)	1	+3 Cha	–	–	+4
Perform (sing)	1	+3 Cha	+3	–	+7
Profession (executive)	1	-1 Wis	+3	+2 Wealth	+5
Sense Motive	1	-1 Wis	–	–	+0
Sleight of Hand	1	+1 Dex	+3	–	+5
Swim	1	+0 Str	–	–	+1

*we’ll bend the rules here a little, and grant Barney extra languages based on his ranks and class bonus, rather than ranks alone. Hence, in addition to his native English, Barney can speak Russian, Mandarin Chinese, Japanese, and Korean.

Special Abilities (30 CP)

• Skill Focus: Bluff (6 CP)
• Wealth Level Template: Affluent (6 CP)

Okay, this one is actually being cribbed from the CP costs for Wealth Level Templates (found in The Practical Enchanter) over on Twilight Isles World Laws and Character Creation. In this case, Barney won’t have access to magic items, obviously, but we’ll say that it does provide access to masterwork items that aren’t under a military-grade restriction. We’ll also bend the rules a bit again and say that the clause about “provides an extra skill point when you gain a level while possessing this template” also counts at 1^st level.

• Augmented Bonus/Add Charisma modifier to Int-based skills (6 CP).
• Mana with the Reality Editing and Unskilled Magic options (12 CP).

Barney has 4 points of personal mana. Using Reality Editing is how he is often able to perform some of his more “coincidental” stunts. The Unskilled Magic option is how Barney is able to accomplish the ones that would normally be completely impossible, like remaining underwater for twelve minutes without difficulty, win the New York City Marathon without any training, or have brief telepathic conversations with his friends (note that we’re waving the rule that in order to cast a spell, your caster level – which is his Hit Dice when using Unskilled Magic - must be [(spell level x 2) -1]). Of course, the spells he uses to do that are fairly specific, as follows:

Apnea; School transmutation; Level druid 1, sorcerer/wizard 1, ranger 1; Casting Time 1 standard action; Components V, S, M (a small inflated balloon); Range touch; Target living creature touched; Duration special; Saving Throw Will negates (harmless); Spell Resistance yes (harmless).

Apnea allows you to hold your breath for 1 minute per point of Constitution, after which time the spell expires and you become subject to the normal rules for holding your breath. If you cease holding your breath prematurely, the spell ends.

Stud’s stamina; School transmutation; Level sorcerer/wizard 2, druid 2; Casting Time 1 standard action; Components V, S; Range touch; Target living creature touched; Duration 1 hour per level; Saving Throw Will negates (harmless); Spell Resistance yes (harmless).

Stud’s stamina grants a +10 bonus to Constitution checks. Note that this does not apply to Constitution-based skills.

Telepathic conversation; School divination; Level sorcerer/wizard 2; Range 30 ft.; Target you plus one willing creature; Duration 1 minute (D).

Telepathic conversation functions like telepathic bond, except as listed above.

Now, if you’ve never used Eclipse before, the above likely looks confusing, if not outright off-putting. As such, I’m going to “translate” the above into a typical Pathfinder stat block. A few things of note – I’ve listed Barney’s class as “Eclipse hero.” Similarly, I’ve removed his alignment listing (as those are always controversial when trying to assign them to an existing character) and replaced it with d20 Modern-style allegiances.

Barney Stinson CR 1/2

XP 200

Male human eclipse hero 1

Medium humanoid (human)

Allegiances his friends; Goliath National Bank

Init +1; Senses Perception -1

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DEFENSE

---

AC 11, touch 11, flat-footed 10 (+1 Dex)

hp 14 (1d12+2)

Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1

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OFFENSE

---

Speed 30 ft.

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STATISTICS

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Str 10, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 8, Cha 17

Base Atk +0; CMB +0; CMD 11

Feats Skill Focus (Bluff)

Skills Acrobatics +2, Appraise +7, Bluff +10, Computer Use +7, Diplomacy +9, Disguise +7, Gamble +3, Knowledge (business) +7, Knowledge (popular culture) +7, Linguistics +7, Perform (art) +4, Perform (dance) +7, Perform (keyboards) +4, Perform (sing) +7, Profession (executive) +5, Sense Motive +0, Sleight of Hand +5, Swim +1

Languages English, Japanese, Korean, Mandarin Chinese, Russian

SQ augmented bonus, mana (4 points, reality editing, unskilled magic), wealth template: affluent

This is the first of several such characters I’ll be portraying with Eclipse in the near future. My hope is to turn more people on to this vastly under-appreciated book. So until next time, stay awesome!

Erom Gib Nuf

Here’s the next in the series of Spellfire cards-turned-NPCs that I spoke about previously. This time it’s the first “Gib” card ever printed, Gib Ekim.

Gib Ekim was the first in a handful of cards that, as you can see to the left, had a split level designation, which the text on her card indicates are her levels as a wizard and as a fighter. Despite how obvious it seems now, at the time it took me a little while to realize that this was meant to be indicative of her being a multiclass character (or rather, “dual-class,” as we said back during AD&D Second Edition).

In converting Gib Ekim to Pathfinder, this presented some interesting decisions regarding how much to “tailor” her conversion. Obviously I’d need to fill in some areas using my own judgment, since a Pathfinder stat block is much more complicated than a Spellfire card, but there were a few aspects of converting her character that gave me pause.

Her levels were a big one. While I was initially intent on converting her levels as shown, making her a wizard 5/fighter 7, I couldn’t help but be struck by just how poor that build was. After all, multiclassing can really cripple a character if the classes don’t complement each other, and that was the case with a straight wizard/fighter build. But at the same time, I wanted to be true to her original depiction on the card.

Ultimately, I compromised. While she still has a total of twelve levels, I split the difference by giving her as few levels of wizard and fighter as I could while devoting the rest to levels of eldritch knight. This kept most of the abilities she’d have from her fighter levels, while at the same time saving most of her abilities as a wizard.

Beyond that, most of Gib Ekim’s build is structured around buffing her AC. Given that her picture (which, like virtually all Spellfire cards, is recycled art that TSR owned) didn’t show her wearing heavy armor or using a shield, I elected to find a number of less-direct methods of helping her avoid being hit. If you elect to use her in your game, please let me know if her design worked!

GIB EKIM

This beautiful woman regards you warily, dropping her backpack to the ground in anticipation, but without apparent hostility. Dressed in a fairly skimpy garb, she has no armor save for an odd crown-like headpiece over her long wavy brown hair. One hand falls to the hilt of her blade, which along with her crossbow are the only weapons she seems to be carrying.

Gib Ekim CR 11

XP 12,800

Female human wizard 5/fighter 1/eldritch knight 6

CG Medium humanoid (human)

Init +2; Senses Perception +9

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DEFENSE

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AC 19, touch 13, flat-footed 17 (+6 armor, +2 Dex, +1 deflection)

hp 73 (5d6+10 plus 7d10+7)

Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +7

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OFFENSE

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Speed 30 ft.

Melee masterwork cold iron longsword +13/+8 (1d8+3/19-20)

Ranged masterwork light crossbow +12 (1d8/19-20)

Special Atks Arcane Strike, Combat Expertise, hand of the apprentice 3/day, Vital Strike

Spells Prepared (CL 10^th; concentration +13)

5^th – baleful polymorph (DC 18), hold monster (DC 18)

4^th – fire shield, lesser globe of invulnerability, stoneskin (DC 17)

3^rd – fireball (DC 16), gaseous form (SM), protection from energy (DC 16), slow (DC 16)

2^nd – cat’s grace (DC 15), darkvision (DC 15; SM), false life, glitterdust (DC 15), scorching ray

1^st – endure elements (DC 14), feather fall, magic missile, ray of enfeeblement (DC 14), shield

0 – detect magic, detect poison, disrupt undead, mage hand

Arcane School universal

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STATISTICS

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Str 16, Dex 14, Con 10, Int 17, Wis 8, Cha 12

Base Atk +9; CMB +12; CMD 25

Feats Arcane Armor Training, Arcane Armor Mastery, Arcane Strike, Combat Expertise, Dodge, Eschew Materials, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes, Scribe Scroll, Spell Mastery, Toughness, Vital Strike

Skills Knowledge (arcana) +16, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +14, Knowledge (history) +14, Knowledge (local) +14, Knowledge (nobility) +14, Perception +9, Sense Motive +12, Spellcraft +16

Languages Common,

SQ arcane bond (ring), diverse training

Spellbook as spells prepared, plus

5^th – interposing hand, passwall

4^th – detect scrying, illusory wall (DC 17)

3^rd – phantom steed (SM), water breathing (DC 16)

2^nd – knock, whispering wind

1^st – alarm, unseen servant

0 – acid splash, arcane mark, bleed (DC 13), dancing lights, daze (DC 13), flare (DC 13), ghost sound (DC 13), light, mending (DC 13), message, open/close (DC 13), prestidigitation, ray of frost, read magic, resistance (DC 13), touch of fatigue (DC 13)

“SM” indicates spells utilized with the Spell Mastery feat

Gear masterwork cold iron longsword, masterwork light crossbow, 30 bolts, +2 glamered chain shirt, ring of protection +1, minor crown of blasting, scrolls (CL 10) of detect scrying, illusory wall, passwall, phantom steed, and water breathing, diamond dust (750 gp), 10 days’ trail rations, waterskin, 50 ft. silk rope, spellbook, explorer’s outfit, backpack, bedroll, blue sapphire (1,000 gp), golden yellow topaz (500 gp), 2 silver pearls (100 gp each), 53 gp, 9 sp

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SPECIAL ABILITIES

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Hand of the Apprentice (Su): Gib Ekim can cause her longsword to fly from her grasp and strike a foe before instantly returning to her. As a standard action, she can make a single attack using a melee weapon at a range of 30 feet. This attack is treated as a ranged attack with a thrown weapon, except that her attack bonus is +12. This ability cannot be used to perform a combat maneuver. She can use this ability three times per day.

Gib Ekim is one of an exceptionally small band of individuals across myriad worlds and planes who have taken the prefix “Gib” in front of their name. While their reasons for doing so are unclear, as they never volunteer information about their organization – indeed, usually denying that they’re part of an organization at all, but rather coincidentally possess similar names – though it seems to have something to do with the notorious Gib Htimsen.

In combat, Ekim tends to focus on defense while she tries to discern her opponents’ abilities. She always uses false life and endure elements each morning, and will use shield as soon as a fight breaks out, following it up with lesser globe of invulnerability, stoneskin, fire shield, and protection from energy, in that order. If her opponents consistently hit her, she’ll use her Combat Expertise feat to its fullest.

Ekim prefers to fight at range. She’ll use her hand of the apprentice ability first before falling back on her crossbow. She’ll target truly dangerous martial fighters with hold monster, and dangerous spellcasters with baleful polymorph. In the event that defeat seems imminent, she’ll try and flee using gaseous form or her scroll of phantom steed. If needing to use a spell that she hasn’t prepared (or has already expended), she’ll use her arcane bond with her ring to cast it again.

How Much XP is CR 1/7 Worth?

If you have a high Perception bonus, you may have noticed a new entry under my blogroll. This is for a new Pathfinder blog called CR 1/7, and you should definitely check it out.

Updated every Friday (in other words, far more consistently than me), CR 1/7 publishes a new customized monster, “customized” here meaning a standard monster altered with class levels, templates, and/or advanced natural Hit Dice. It’s a great resource if you’re looking for interesting variants to keep your players on their toes!

From all of us here at Intelligence Check (which is to say, me), congrats to CR 1/7 on their debut, and here’s hoping for many interesting new monsters for many Fridays to come!

What’s Old Is Young Again

It should be self-evident, due to this blog, that I’m a fan of Paizo. I have been for a while; ever since they formed to keep Dragon and Dungeon magazines alive, in fact. But for all my admiration of the excellent material Paizo continue to put out to this day, it’s the indie third-party publishers whose work excites me most.

Part of this is the ingenuity that comes from these smaller companies. While bigger outfits have to play it somewhat safe to protect their sales margins, a company that’s run by a couple of guys (or even just one guy) as a hobby is free to experiment with something more “out there,” regardless of market potential. Admittedly, a lot of the time this doesn’t work, and production values (such as editing, interior art, etc.) can vary wildly, but when everything clicks it can produce pure gold.

The other great thing about third-party publishers is that they’re more likely to be open to freelancers who submit unsolicited material. While larger companies can afford to produce their products in-house, and/or have a stable of well-known freelancers with proven track records, a smaller company is more open to working with an unknown. This is particularly true in terms of judging a work on its own merits, rather than having to consider issues of scheduled releases, typsetting and layout, and name-recognition.

Yeah, this is rather long. How about a picture of a lively kitten to help?

Given all of the above, it’s probably no surprise that, prior to starting this blog, smaller third-party publishers were my venue of choice for when I had a Pathfinder (or, prior to August, 2009, 3.X) idea that I wanted to share with everyone. True, I could have posted them on a messageboard or home-made website, but like most would-be game designers, I’m narcissistic enough to want the unspoken tag of “official third-party” hanging over my work. In fact, to me that’s often more important than being paid for the submission (though it’s nicer to be paid in addition to that distinction).

There were several third-parties that I worked (and still work) with. One of the more esoteric ones, however, was The Grand OGL Wiki.

Started back in September of 2008, the Grand OGL Wiki is the culmination of an idea that was gaining popularity at the time – that of compiling a free online repository of Open Game Content materials from various publishers. While this seems obvious to us Pathfinder fans now that we have the d20PFSRD website, it was fairly controversial back in the day. A lot of people, including some publishers, were critical of the idea, claiming that it robbed companies of the profits for their hard work by making it available for free – “after all,” the reasoning went “why would anyone buy something if all of the crunchy bits are a few keystrokes away?”

Again, we know better now, but at the time more than a few people thought that was sound reasoning. Still, for every person who thought that way, there was another (including plenty of publishers) who thought it was a great idea.

It might have remained just an idea (since, as I recall, there were a few aborted attempts) had not Mark Gedak stepped up to the plate and formed The Grand OGL Wiki. From the very beginning, Mark was classy about his approach to the GOW (as it came to be called), always making sure that he had a publisher’s permission before reposting their Open Game Content, despite the fact that under the terms of the OGL, he could have done it anyway. Several publishers even allowed him to repost some of their Product Identity as well (though still closed, so it could not be subsequently reposted elsewhere).

And here it… wait… this isn’t the picture I uploaded.

Mark put out an open call for people to help him post content, and several people responded, myself included. Of course, I quickly lost steam after posting a comparatively small amount, so my contribution remains miniscule compared to that of others.

Of course, Mark eventually aimed his sights even higher, and eventually started his own third-party publishing company, Purple Duck Games, which puts out a number of excellent products.

This isn’t to say that the Grand OGL Wiki has been allowed to languish, of course. Just the fact that the link to it and the link to Purple Duck Games lead to the same page should be enough to put the lie to that. Indeed, Mark continues to quietly update the GOW with more Open Game Content to this day, in addition to expanding Purple Duck’s catalogue.

There is one aspect of the GOW that has been allowed to fall into disuse, however, and it’s the reason for today’s post. In late March, 2009, Mark expanded on the GOW’s original mission and created the DM Sketchpad. From then until February, 2010 (with bits and pieces up through that November), the DM Sketchpad was the place Mark posted new material he’d written, making it all Open Game Content.

He also allowed anyone else to submit material, something which suited me quite well, for reasons posted above. Thus, I became an infrequent contributor to the DM Sketchpad, sending various new rules material that I’d written (along with sending in requests for material, something Mark encouraged).

Nowadays, the DM Sketchpad is still around, though accessing the older pages require that you manipulate URL (the last four digits, specifically, to showcase the month and year that you want to see) a little bit. Given that the material on there is all Open Game Content, and isn’t easily accessible any longer, I’ve decided to repost my original submissions here for wider access.

To be clear, what I’ll be posting here is only my own work; the material done by Mark and others (including material written based on requests I submitted) will not be reposted here. With that said, let’s turn to today’s piece from yester-year.

Updated Actuarial Tables

A recent discussion on the Paizo messageboards mentioned how elves in Pathfinder weren’t so much “eternally young” as they were “eternally old.” While that’s a slight exaggeration, it does highlight how the longer-lived PC races can spend a lot of time being, well…old.  Afterall, according to the Aging Effects table, elves can spend up to four hundred years being “venerable” age! It was with that thought in mind that I wrote the following:

The listed aging effects never seemed entirely sensible to me where demihumans were concerned. Why does an elf have the potential to spend up to four hundred years – more than half his life – in the venerable age category? The gnome is in a similar position, and a halfling could spend literally half his life that way. That doesn’t seem plausible, so I rewrote the aging effects table.

This table reduces the maximum age each race can live down to a single die roll. The excess dice had their averages added to the venerable age category, and the other age categories were modified to match, as each race has their middle age category as exactly half their venerable age, with old age being the mid-point between them.

For example, elves normally have a maximum age of 350 + 4d% years. This takes the average of three of those d% dice (50 each) and adds them to the venerable age category, making it 500 years, and the elf’s maximum lifespan is now 500 + d% years. This adjusts middle age to be 250 years (half of venerable) and old age to be 375 (halfway between middle age and venerable). While this slightly shortens the maximum number of years a given race could live, for most people it actually heightens how long they’re likely to live, and broadens the range of each age category.

One notable exception to this rule is that humans have not had their age category altered. This is because the maximum age for humans, 70 + 2d20 years, does adequately cover the range of how long a healthy human can live. Since humans are commonly thought of as being the most adaptable and versatile of all races, having a comparatively broad maximum age fits with this image.

TABLE: REVISED AGING EFFECTS

Race	Middle Age1	Old2	Venerable3	Maximum Age
Human	35 years	53 years	70 years	70 + 2d20 years
Dwarf	150 years	225 years	300 years	300 + d% years
Elf	250 years	375 years	500 years	500 + d% years
Gnome	150 years	225 years	300 years	300 + d% years
Half-elf	73 years	109 years	145 years	145 + d20 years
Half-orc	33 years	49 years	65 years	65 + d10 years
Halfling	70 years	105 years	140 years	140 + d20 years

¹ At middle age, –1 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.

² At old age, –2 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.

³ At venerable age, –3 to Str, Dex, and Con; +1 to Int, Wis, and Cha.

Needless to say, this seems to make things a lot simpler for the demihuman races (bonus points if you remember when “demihuman” was a much more common term), particularly since now they’ll remain younger longer.

After all, the longer you remain young, the easier it is spend your youth killing things and taking their stuff.

The Beast Within

Blame this one on Doctor Who.

This guy gave me a devil of an idea.

I don’t actually watch Doctor Who (blasphemy, I know) but from time to time I’ll hear things about it from people who do. One such instance was someone online mentioning the episode “The Satan Pit.” Reading the synopsis, I was struck by how the Doctor deduced that the Beast’s animalistic behavior meant that it’s mind was quite literally elsewhere. That’s not how it works in Pathfinder!

In Pathfinder, whenever your mind (or spirit, etc.) leaves your body, your body immediately goes into a catatonic state. Only the autonomic functions continue, with everything else having exited along with your consciousness. Hence, I immediately started considering ways to make this alternate approach – allowing your body to function, but without sapience – possible in Pathfinder. The result is the following feat:

Retain Id

When you leave your body, your primal instincts take control of it.

Prerequisite: Charisma 13.

Benefit: When your mind leaves your body (e.g. astral projection), your subconscious mind remains and assumes direct control of your body, albeit in an animalistic state. In this condition your body has an Intelligence of 2 which cannot be raised (e.g. by fox’s cunning), and cannot speak or understand any languages. Your body is unable to use any tools (including manufactured weapons), spellcasting or psionic powers, or spell-like or psi-like abilities. It cannot use any Intelligence-, Wisdom-, or Charisma-based skills (save for Intimidate), nor the Ride skill. It cannot use any ability that requires patience or concentration.

Your subconscious mind retains your memories in this state, such as knowledge of who is friend or foe, but has an effective alignment of Neutral. While in this state, your body may be influenced with wild empathy as though it were an animal. Any consciousness that enters your body during this time (such as a ghost using malevolence) automatically overpowers your subconscious and takes control of your body. When your mind returns to your body, you do not remember what your subconscious did while in control.

Now admittedly, this is a situation that doesn’t come up very often. Few are the spells that separate your mind and body, and there are only marginally more psionic powers that do so. Still, I wanted to put this option out there for players who make a PC that, in some manner, spends a fair amount of time divorced from their physical body.

The major benefit from this feat is that it keeps your body active, preventing it from helplessly waiting for someone to coup de grace it. In this state, it may not be able to fight very well (particularly if it has no natural weapons or unarmed strikes), but it can at least detect danger and try to flee from it.

Of course, enterprising GMs can also use this feat as well, as there’s no telling what trouble your body may get into if left without a guiding intelligence. Characters who use this feat would be wise to leave someone behind to watch over their body, even if it can act on its own.

When Bark Really Is Worse Than Bite

A little while ago, I entered Kobold Quarterly’s King of the Monsters 3 contest. Unfortunately, my entry didn’t make it to the finals. As such, I’ve decided to repost it here so that you can use it in your game. So if you’re looking to present your party with a different kind of dryad, let them have a run-in with the warwood!

This beautiful woman ceases humming as she notices you, a frown crossing her face. Standing up, one dainty hand draws a stick from the bundle slung over her shoulder, holding it as though it were a weapon. The comical sight is interrupted as thick bark suddenly grows over her body like a second skin. The stick in her hand bulges into a stout club as she advances on you.

DRYAD, WARWOOD CR 7

XP 3,200

CN Medium fey

Init +3; Senses low-light vision; Perception +13

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DEFENSE

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AC 18, touch 13, flat-footed 15 (+3 Dex, +5 natural)

hp 90 (12d6+48)

Fort +7, Ref +11, Will +10

DR 5/cold iron

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OFFENSE

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Speed 30 ft.

Melee +1 greatclub +12/+7 (1d10+7)

Ranged +1 shuriken +10/+5 (1d2+5)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 12^th; concentration +16)

Constant – speak with plants

At will –wood shape (10 lbs. only)

3/day – entangle (DC 15), tree stride

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STATISTICS

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Str 19, Dex 17, Con 16, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 18

Base Atk +6; CMB +10; CMD 29

Feats Dazzling Display, Defensive Combat Training, Deadly Aim, Skill Focus (Stealth), Toughness, Weapon Focus (greatclub)

Skills Acrobatics +14, Climb +15, Craft (sculpture) +12, Escape Artist +14, Handle Animal +12, Intimidate +14, Knowledge (nature) +12, Perception +13, Stealth +22, Survival +10; Racial Modifiers +6 Craft (wood)

Languages Common, Sylvan; speak with plants

SQ forest weaponry, timber armor, wild empathy, woodcraft

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ECOLOGY

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Environment temperate forests

Organization solitary, pair, or grove (3-8)

Treasure none

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SPECIAL ABILITIES

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Forest Weaponry (Su) As a swift action, a warwood dryad can turn any foliage in her grasp into a weapon. Branches and boughs become a +1 greatclub while leaves, flower petals, and other herbage becomes up to five +1 shuriken. These items revert to their natural state upon leaving the warwood dryad’s grasp (in the case of shuriken, this happens after they are used to attack).

Timber Armor (Su) A warwood dryad may cause a layer of form-fitting wood to grow over herself. This increases her natural armor bonus to +10, but reduces her speed to 20 ft. Removing the timber armor is a move action that causes it to recede.

Wild Empathy (Su) This works like the druid’s wild empathy class feature, except the warwood dryad has a +6 racial bonus on the check. Warwood dryads with druid or ranger levels add this racial modifier to their wild empathy checks.

Woodcraft (Ex) A warwood dryad has a +6 racial bonus to Craft checks involving wood, and is always treated as if she had masterwork artisan’s woodworking tools when making such checks.

HABITAT AND SOCIETY

Zealous defenders of the forests, warwood dryads are the fey answer to those who do not respect the natural world. Possessing the ability to turn innocuous branches and flowers into deadly weapons, they often leave the dead bodies of loggers at the edge of a forest, decorated with the bloody foliage used to kill them as a stern warning to other despoilers. Most communities that dwell near a forest inhabited by warwood dryads usually learn to leave it well enough alone.

Unlike normal dryads, a warwood dryad has no mystic connection to a tree; their connection to nature is internalized. Because of this they are able to roam freely and have much greater martial prowess than their tree-bound cousins, though their mystic abilities are stunted as a result. In contrast to more even-handed warriors of nature, warwood dryads do not respect those who only take from the land in moderation – to them, anyone who kills plants or animals for anything other than food is an enemy.

ECOLOGY

A warwood dryad acts as the protector of her environment, attempting to kill or drive off anything that doesn’t live in harmony with nature. Among those who revere nature, the warwood dryad is a steadfast ally, often serving a role similar to local law enforcement in humanoid settlements. Like their less-aggressive cousins, warwood dryads have a large sexual appetite, often pursuing relationships with satyrs, centaurs, and local druids. The results of these unions are always another warwood dryad.

TACTICS

Warwood dryads prefer to attack lone targets, usually when their prey is most vulnerable. They’ll activate their armor and create weapons before using tree stride to shadow a target. When they decide to strike, they’ll use their entangle spell-like ability before moving in to attack. If taken by surprise, a warwood dryad will always grab the nearest piece of flora and then activate her armor. Following that, she’ll create a weapon and counterattack as best she can. If in imminent danger of death, she’ll attempt to escape via tree stride.

 

Patronizing the Witch

It’s long been a staple that religious classes in Pathfinder, like in D&D before it, come with certain “strings” attached, insofar as role-playing is concerned. Unlike other characters, who don’t necessarily have any particular individual or organization that they need to have an affiliation with (other PCs notwithstanding), divine spellcasters are expected to have a relationship not only with their church, but also with their deity.

This can be somewhat tricky, since good role-playing will often necessitate knowing something about the church and the deity before the campaign even begins. Of course, that’s usually not too big a deal, since most published deities have at least some supporting material written, and even home-brew pantheons will have information supplied by the GM. To put it another way, these “strings” are expected and the requisite information is provided.

That’s a quid pro quo that goes entirely out the window where Pathfinder’s witch class is concerned.

Absentee Oversight

Whereas divine spellcasters have a god (or god-like figure of similar status), the witch has a patron. Clearly the patron isn’t meant to (necessarily) be a god, since otherwise the game wouldn’t bother differentiating the two. But what exactly is a witch’s patron then? Let’s examine what the Advanced Player’s Guide says on the subject:

This patron is a vague and mysterious force, granting the witch power for reasons that she might not entirely understand. While these forces need not be named, they typically hold influence over one of the following forces.

[...]

Its actual name is up to the GM and the witch to decide.

Oh that’s helpful.

While I can see the reasoning behind taking a hands-off stance on this particular subject (so as to better allow enterprising GMs to define the nature of the patrons on their own), this isn’t very helpful in terms of suggesting ideas or providing inspiration for those GMs who want some help.

As such, we’re going to go over several possibilities regarding possible witch patrons here, giving names to those “unnameable” entities that grant a witch her spells. But before we do, let’s try and get a better sense of how these patrons work, by looking at their most tangible impact on the witch.

Familiarization

The most direct impact that a patron has on a witch is felt via the witch’s familiar. Once again, let’s examine what the APG has on these creatures:

At 1st level, a witch forms a close bond with a familiar, a creature that teaches her magic and helps to guide her along her path. Familiars also aid a witch by granting her skill bonuses, additional spells, and help with some types of magic.

[...]

By forging strange bonds with unnameable beings, witches gain the service of a mystical advisor, a familiar to both serve her and reveal to her secrets unknown to most mortals. A familiar is an animal chosen by a witch to aid her in her spellcasting and grant her special powers.

Okay, so there is some expository material there. First, the actual familiar is chosen by the witch herself. This is interesting, as it’s the familiar that “teaches her magic,” “helps to guide her along her path,” and “reveal to her secrets unknown to most mortals.”

In the face of it, there’s something of a dichotomy here. The text makes it clear that the witch is the pupil, while the familiar is the teacher; at the same time, however, the fact that the witch chooses the familiar seems to indicate that it’s an ordinary animal until she selects it; since it teaches her magic, she’s obviously not imbuing it with power on her own. So what turns this ordinary animal that she chooses into her future mentor?

The best way to answer this question is, to my mind, by bringing the mysterious patron back into the equation. In this manner, while the witch may select the actual animal, it’s the patron that imbues the familiar with its intelligence, magical powers, and (most importantly) its ability to instruct the witch in spell preparation.

"Today's lesson will be about what a dipshit you are."

This, therefore, brings up an interesting question as to where the familiar’s real loyalties lie. After all, the witch may have invoked the patron to make the animal into a familiar, but the one who actually did so was the patron itself. Given that, it’s likely that the familiar’s lessons are in line with what the patron wants them to be – whether because the patron wrote the familiar’s personality type when it imbued it with intelligence, or because it can control the familiar by threatening to withdraw its powers from it.

This, by extension, makes the familiar the patron’s proxy to the witch – the familiar makes sure that she develops and grows the way the patron wants her to, otherwise the lessons, and the new spells to prepare, go away (of course, not all of the witch’s power has the familiar as a mystic middle man; their hex powers, for example, are gained directly from their patron).

This is a marked contrast to a wizard’s (or an arcane-blooded sorcerer’s) familiar, which they imbue with magic and intelligence themselves – the witch’s familiar wants her to grow, but only insofar as it’s in line with her patron’s agenda.

Patronage Package

The other direct hand that patron’s take in regards to a witch’s development is in their “patron spells.” Let’s look at these a little closer.

The patron spells in the APG are somewhat akin to clerical domains in that they’re a set of spells grouped by a common theme, which the witch selects to help customize her spells prepared. On the surface, this isn’t too big a deal, but there’s more here than is immediately apparent.

The list of patron spell packages is actually the closest thing we have to an actual list of patrons. The same way a god’s clerical domains reflect their portfolio, these patron spell lists serve to define their patrons.

I'm not sure I want to know who her patron is.

The problem is that these lists are, unto themselves, much too prosaic. Simply having your patron be “wisdom” isn’t very helpful at all. Imagine if your deity had no information listed except their domains…it’s kind of like that in terms of fleshing out your magical sponsor. In fact, patrons are even worse since there aren’t even any groups of patron spell packages to select from; just a big list that the witch picks one from.

There’s also some ambiguity as to who actually selects the patron spell package, from an in-game standpoint. Is the witch actually selecting her patron spells? Or does her patron choose which of these spells she actively receives? I’d recommend the latter interpretation, as it makes more sense in terms of the patron being the one to imbue the witch with her powers (particularly her spells, which are sent through the familiar). The witch’s player picking the patron spells is a metagame decision, much like a sorcerer picking their bloodline, that isn’t reflected as an in-character conscious choice.

Patron Possibilities

With all of that said, this brings us back around to our original question: who are the witch patrons? Or at least, what are some good choices for witch patrons? Let’s discuss some of the criteria that a patron should have.

One of the most important standards for witch patrons is that they be unique entities. This is key for pretty much the same reason that creatures that grant divine spells need to be unique entities (“unique” here doesn’t mean that they need to be singular in nature, but rather that they can’t be some sort of generic creature) – because otherwise there’d be problems with them popping up everywhere (e.g. if every creature with 20 HD or more can grant spells, then every creature with Hit Dice that high would be doing so…including 20th-level PCs!). There is no good “one size fits all” approach for what sorts of creatures can grant spells.

Likewise, all witch patrons should be beings of considerable power. While there are some possible exceptions (e.g. Spirits), most beings need to have power themselves before they can grant it to others. Even if that power is limited somehow, it still needs to be present so that it can be transferred to the witch and her familiar.

Finally, consider giving each of the following patrons certain “groups” of patron spell themes, much in the same way that deities have several domains. This helps to further flesh out the various patrons as having a distinct set of goals and agenda all their own.

Given that, the following make good options for witch patrons:

Baba Yaga: Perhaps the original witch (in theme, if not class), Baba Yaga makes an excellent witch patron. Her strong slant towards arcane spellcasting, while being definitively not a god herself, makes her a good choice for something that can send arcane powers but not divine ones. She’s also inscrutable enough to make her agenda mysterious, giving the GM a lot of leeway in what exactly she wants her witch to accomplish. Patron spells: Deception, Shadow, Trickery, Wisdom.

The Gods: As the gods (and similar powers, such as archdevils and demon lords) grant divine spells to their worshippers directly, why couldn’t they also grant arcane spells as well? Of course, this requires some in-game explanation for why they only do so through a familiar, and why they don’t grant other sorts of arcane spellcasters their spells. Perhaps they can only do so because of the particular nature of arcane magic, or perhaps gods who do this are skirting some divine law, and so need to hide their activities and identity by remaining more aloof than they would with their divine servants. Patron spells: varies by god.

The Great Dragons: Fafnheir. Jormugandr. Nidhogg. These, and others like them, are dragons so mighty that they constitute major threats to the entire world, or even to the gods, all without being gods themselves. Witches who serve these beings will likely find themselves advancing agendas to bring about the end of the world or some similar apocalypse, during which their master can wreak unimaginable havoc. Patron spells: varies by dragon (e.g. Nidhogg: Endurance, Plague, Shadow, Strength).

Monsters of Legend: Similar to the Great Dragons, some monsters have a singular exemplar – perhaps their progenitor – that is far beyond their lesser brethren. The Rainbow Serpent, for example, might be the first couatl, now working to subtly encourage new generations of witches to take up the fight against evil and protect the good people of the world. The plots of such monsters of legend will be as diverse as these creatures themselves are. Patron spells: varies by creature (e.g. The Rainbow Serpent: Agility, Animals, Transformation, Wisdom).

Spirits: Not all witch patrons need to be singular entities. On their own, the spirits are weak, but many of them together can grant great powers. Perhaps one of them (or all of them) possess the familiar, allowing for a witch patron who’s always present! In this way, for example, a witch’s ancestors might empower her to defend their tribe from threats, or the Great Mountain might make its will known. Spirits offer a great deal of variety in what kind of patrons they can be. Patron spells: varies by spirits (e.g. Ancestral Spirits: Animals, Elements, Endurance, Strength).

The Titans: From the Greeks to the Scarred Lands to the original hekatonkheires still trapped between the planes, many pantheons have had to battle these ancient super-giants in order to secure their current supremacy; but in all cases, the titans still exist, locked away in the far corners of the universe, waiting for a time when they can return to reclaim all of Creation for their own. Those witches who dedicate themselves to them will find themselves seeking the keys to unlock their masters’ ancient prisons. Patron spells: varies by titan (e.g. Oceanus: Deception, Endurance, Trickery, Water).

Of course, these are just some possible witch patrons; there are myriad other possibilities for what’s granting a witch’s spells. Perhaps your witch’s patron is a sentient artifact. Or it might be the sentient manifestation of an abstract force or concept (e.g. Winter). Or it might be something else altogether.

This is my patron. His granted power is to help me get through the day.

Whatever the nature of your witch’s patron though, having it more clearly defined lets you role-play one of your witch’s most important aspects better. Witch patrons should be about patronage, not patronizing.

Setting a Gold Standard

We’ve spoken before about how Pathfinder portrays the economy. However, while it’s useful to look at that in terms of an individual’s earning power over time, there’s also some merit in looking at the value of Pathfinder’s currency.

Good for your character, hell on the stock market.

On the surface, this is fairly self-explanatory. Pathfinder runs on a gold piece-standard, with greater (platinum) and lesser (silver and copper) denominations; if you want to judge how expensive something is, its price is measured in gold pieces. Easy enough to understand, right?

But what if we wanted to express that in more familiar terms? What if we wanted to measure something’s cost in terms of real-world currency?

Many readers are probably rolling their eyes at this, expecting things to devolve into a dry set of extrapolations based on the weight of gold coins (in troy or avoirdupois) and the current value of gold on the world market. Don’t worry, we’re not going to delve into such dry minutia…much.

Realistic Abstractionism

In order to develop a baseline for how much gold coins are worth in United States dollars, there’s a much easier rubric. Game Room Creations’ book The Modern Path – Heroes of the Modern World 2.0 has, among other things, a chart that compares Pathfinder currency to USD. This holds that one gold piece is equivalent to $10.

By itself, that’s not a bad conversion guideline, if perhaps a slightly prosaic one. But let’s try and lend this just a little bit of economic context. In order to do this, we’re going to need to make a comparison between a particular measurement for a given economic condition in Pathfinder and one in the real world.

Luckily we have just such a condition to compare: the poverty line.

Take a look at the cost of living breakdown for Pathfinder. This measures how much a PC – that is, one person – must pay per month to maintain a given standard of living. The base minimum that a person must pay to be “average,” which is just above “poor,” is 10 gp per month. That’s 120 gp per year, which with the above calculations is $1,200 per year. Hence, Pathfinder’s poverty line is $1,200 USD.

Now, let’s compare this to the poverty line for a single person living in the United States in the year 2011, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. This lists that for a single person (in the lower forty-eight states) the poverty line is $10,980 – much higher than the Pathfinder standard!

Now, let’s divide one into the other – real world America’s poverty line is higher than Pathfinder’s by a factor of 9.075. What does that mean? It means that if you wanted to calculate how much a Pathfinder gold piece can buy, in terms of today’s money, you have to multiply its standard USD equivalent ($10) by this number.

In other words, one gp is worth $90.75 USD.

Hence, someone earning only 120 gp in a year in a Pathfinder game is making the same amount of money as someone earning $10,890 in contemporary America; just enough to get by.

Think about that the next time your character off-handedly slaps down 315 gp for a masterwork longsword. That’s the equivalent of putting down almost thirty thousand dollars for a purchase; buying a masterwork longsword is your character’s equivalent of buying a new car.

And that's before you start adding bling.

The idea of a character who quits being a humble farmer to go out into the world and make it big is a trite one, to be sure, but this makes it a little easier to see why they’d do it.