My Little Candy-Colored Pony

A few months ago, I wrote a series of posts using the rules for Eclipse: The Codex Persona to flesh out characters, races, and items from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. One of them was for my original pony character, Lex Legis.

More recently, a poster over on the Paizo forums by the name of VrisKCa started offering to draw anyone’s character, free of charge. Given that paid-for commissions to draw someone’s PC are a thriving cottage industry, I was quick to leap at the generous offer, submitting Lex as my character of choice.

Much to my delight, VrisKCa picked my character as one of the first to draw out of the initial batch of submissions. Thanks to her talented work, I can now present Lex Legis, in living color:

This picture actually shows Lex several months after the events described in his original entry. The major difference is that he’s grafted the Horn of King Sombra onto himself, after his original horn was torn off in a grueling fight.

Doing so restored Lex’s ability to use magic (something unicorns can’t do without their horn), and awoke even greater powers in the Horn itself, allowing Lex to win the battle and save not just himself but several other ponies as well. But binding a relic that uses dark magic onto himself is not without consequences…

Penning the Umbra Witch

She could make watching paint dry seem suggestive.

I’ve spoken before about how, while I’m not the hard-core gamer I used to be, I still find the time to get some gaming in every so often. The last two weeks have been such instances, having purchased Bayonetta 2 for the Wii U. Never having played the first game, this was quite a good deal for me, as a port of the original was bundled in with the sequel.

Needless to say, I’ve been having quite a bit of fun with the game. Its combat system is shockingly deep, the storyline is the sort of insane action you’d expect from a game directed by Hideki Kamiya (of Devil May Cry fame), and the titular heroine is enjoyably easy on the eyes. Having beaten the first game, I enjoyed it so much that I even went and watched the Bayonetta anime movie (which, somewhat disappointingly, was just an adaptation of the game’s storyline).

Of course, every time I watched Bayonetta strut around on the screen, I had the same thought that any gamer geek would have: “what would she look like…if she had stats in a tabletop RPG?” Naturally, I couldn’t rest until I found the answer to this question, hence this blog post.

Below are Bayonetta’s stats for the Pathfinder RPG, using the class-less point-buy rules for character creation found in Eclipse: The Codex Persona. This represents Bayonetta at the end of the first game, before the sequel takes place. (As a warning, there are some spoilers for the events of the first game.)

Bayonetta, 16th-level Umbra Witch

Available Character Points: 408 (level 16 base) + 10 (disadvantages) + 6 (human bonus feat) + 6 (“starting traits”) + 48 (levels 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, and 15 feats) = 478 CP.

Bayonetta’s disadvantages are History (her birth triggering a war between the Umbra Witches and their counterparts, the Lumen Sages), Hunted (angels continually hunt Bayonetta), and Valuable (her status as the Left Eye of the World).

Ability Scores (25-point buy):

Ability Scores	Initial Scores (point cost)	Racial bonus	Level Bonuses	Enchantments	Total
Strength	14 (5)	—	—	+2 enhancement, +1 inherent	17 (+3)
Dexterity	15 (7)	—	+1 (8th)	+2 enhancement	18 (+4)
Constitution	12 (2)	—	—	+2 enhancement	14 (+2)
Intelligence	10 (0)	+2	—	+2 enhancement	14 (+2)
Wisdom	11 (1)	—	+1 (4th)	+2 enhancement, +1 inherent	15 (+2)
Charisma	16 (10)	—	+2 (12th and 16th)	+2 enhancement	20 (+5)

Human Traits

• Bonus feat (6 CP).
• Fast Learner, specialized in skills (3 CP).
• Humans get to pick which attribute enjoys the Pathfinder Package Deal bonus – buying off a Corruption worth (4 CP).

Given the circumstances of Bayonetta’s birth, I was going to initially tweak her racial traits. However, there simply wasn’t enough information about what it meant for her to be the Left Eye of the World (besides being a mcguffin for awakening the game’s final boss) to justify doing so.

Basic Abilities (171 CP)

• Proficiency with all simple, martial, and exotic weapons (15 CP).
• 1d20 Hit Die at 1^st level, 15d4 Hit Dice thereafter (16 CP).
• +16 BAB (96 CP normally; reduced via Fast Learner to 64 CP).
• Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +5 (75 CP)
• 1 skill point (1 CP).

Bayonetta’s basic abilities are a major hint towards how her character was constructed: namely that, despite how she’s referred to as a witch, she simply doesn’t live up to the Pathfinder (or D&D) use of that term. More specifically, she’s not a spellcaster – rather, she’s a fighter with a large number of magical powers that she uses to enhance and round out her combat abilities.

Killer Queen of Combat (76 CP)

• Double Jump: Reflex Training/when making an Acrobatics check to jump, may make a second jump at any point during the first (6 CP).
• 16 levels of wilder progression (converted to spell levels)/corrupted for two-thirds cost, no powers gained/specialized for one-half cost, does not replenish naturally (16 CP).
• Rite of Chi with +16 Bonus Uses, specialized for one-half cost/replenishes a number of spell levels equal to her Charisma bonus for every two consecutive attacks successfully made, or for every two consecutive attacks from enemies that fail to hit (15 CP).
• Fast Learner/specialized for double effect, only to pay for BAB costs (6 CP).
• Fortune/evasion and impervious (12 CP).
• Defender (dodge bonus)/specialized for double effect, does not apply if armor is worn (6 CP).
• Luck with +8 Bonus Uses/specialized for one-half cost, only for attack rolls (9 CP).
• Luck with +8 Bonus Uses/specialized for one-half cost, only for saving throws (9 CP).
• Augment Attack/+1 bonus to unarmed strikes (3 CP).

Bayonetta’s wilder progression grants her 123 spell levels. Her method of regaining her magic comes from either dodging her opponent’s blows or landing her own on them. As such, it’s usually easier to roll all of the dice for how much her Rite of Chi can restore in a day using this method (a massive 34d6 spell levels; averaging 119) and parse them out as per her specialization, above.

Harsh Mistress (42 CP)

• Torture Attacks: Augment Attack +10d6/specialized for double effect, must spend 1 spell level for each die of damage inflicted (may choose to spend less than the full amount) (30 CP).
• Taunt: Reflex Training (one additional attack after a successful Bluff to feint in combat) (6 CP).
• Umbran Climax: Trick (when performing a successful coup de grace, the opponent’s body is dragged down to Hell) (6 CP).

I’ve slightly repurposed Bayonetta’s taunt here, since the Augment Attack used for her torture attacks functions as per the sneak attack rules – namely, that the opponent needs to be flanked or to be denied their Dexterity bonus for it to work.

Insofar as the nature of her torture attacks and umbran climax goes, these mechanics might seem insufficient, since these moves, respectively, temporarily create material devices out of nothing, and summon gigantic demons from Hell to finish off an enemy.

What’s more important, however, is to look at the effects of these abilities. One is simply an attack that deals more damage than normal. The other is a finishing move used on opponents that have already been defeated. In that sense, the mechanics of what these abilities do is surprisingly easy to replicate.

Wicked Weave (27 CP)

• Improved Bonus Attack (may make an additional attack when making a melee full attack action against a single target)/specialized for one-half cost, must pay 2 spell levels to use (6 CP).
• Enhanced Strike (Hammer)/corrupted for increased effect, must pay 2 spell levels each time used; used in conjunction with Improved Bonus Attack (6 CP).
• Opportunist, may make a trip attempt when landing an Improved Bonus Attack (6 CP).
• Opportunist, may make a knockback attempt when landing an Improved Bonus Attack (6 CP).
• Evasive (trip) and Evasive (knockback), both specialized for one-half cost/only in conjunction with Opportunist (3 CP).

Wicked Weave is where, at the end of an offensive combination, Bayonetta opens a quick portal to Hell and a massive fist, or foot, comes through to strike an enemy. When using this, Bayonetta can use one form of Opportunist with that last blow, but not both. A Wicked Fist usually knocks an opponent back (a “knockback” attack is like a bull rush, but you do not move with the opponent), while a Wicked Kick usually knocks them prone.

The Enhanced Strike (Hammer) ability is used to represent the increased damage from a Wicked Weave strike. Normally, this can be used once per minute without a spell level cost, and is a full attack action by itself – here, we’re saying that it costs 2 spell levels regardless of how often it’s used, in exchange for being able to use it in conjunction with other attacks in a full attack action. That’s a fairly cheap price to pay for such a large benefit; only the fact that it’s specific method of use (via Improved Bonus Attack) still keeps it limited to once per round makes these even slightly acceptable, if still overpowered.

Witch Time (18 CP)

• Channeling (3 + Cha bonus times per day), specialized for double effect/only as a prerequisite for Conversion; may be used as an immediate action/corrupted for two-thirds cost, may only be used when an enemy’s attack roll is a natural 1, or misses by 20 or more (or when Bayonetta rolls a natural 20 on a saving throw, or exceeds the save DC by 20 or more) (6 CP).
• Conversion/level 6 spell (witch time – a L6 version of grand haste that lasts only for 1 round, affects only the caster, and requires the aid of an extraplanar patron). (12 CP).

The grand haste spell can be found in The Practical Enchanter; it essentially functions as per the 3.0 haste spell.

Witch Time is one of a few abilities that are technically unlimited-use in the context of the game, but which have a limit placed on them here.

Beautiful Mind, Incredible Body (45 CP)

• Advanced Augmented Bonus, add Charisma bonus to skill points per level (18 CP).
• Advanced Augmented Bonus, add Charisma bonus to hit points per level (18 CP).
• Upgrade human Fast Learner to specialized in skills/2 skill points per level (3 CP).
• Adept/Bluff, Martial Arts (witch-fu), Perception, and Perform (dance) (6 CP).

What Bayonetta lacks in formal training, she makes up for in sheer force of presence!

Such a Talented Girl (16 CP)

• Occult Sense, can see Purgatory and the mortal world from either realm/corrupted for two-thirds cost, the other realm’s inhabitants look blurry and transparent, gaining partial concealment (4 CP).
• Inherent Spell (purgatory shift L3; allows Bayonetta and up to one other willing individual to move between Purgatory and the mortal realm)/specialized for increased effect, costs 6 spell levels to use; may be used multiple times per day, so long as the spell level cost is paid (6 CP).
• Advanced Inherent Spell (resilient sphere)/specialized for increased effect, costs 8 spell levels to use; may be used multiple times per day, so long as the spell level cost is paid (6 CP).

The cosmology of Bayonetta has only four planes of existence: the mortal world, Hell, Heaven, and Purgatory – the latter of which stands in the middle of the other three. Purgatory functions much like the Ethereal Plane, save for the fact that material objects in the mortal world can be equally affected in either realm, though beings with souls are invisible. Force effects function on both planes simultaneously. Oddly, ghost touch weapons used in the mortal world can affect beings in Purgatory, though the reverse doesn’t seem to be true.

Myriad Secrets of the Lesser Darkness (57 CP)

• Innate Enchantment (24 CP – 23,000 GP; spell level 0 (1/2) or 1 x caster level 1 x 2,000 gp x 0.7 personal-only modifier (where appropriate))
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Str (1,400 gp)
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Dex (1,400 gp)
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Con (1,400 gp)
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Int (1,400 gp)
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Wis (1,400 gp)
  • +2 enhancement bonus to Cha (1,400 gp)
  • Wardrobe change (L0, alter the wearer’s clothing at will) (1,000 gp)
  • Void sheath (L0, hide weapons in a personal dimensional pocket) (700 gp)
  • Jump (1,400 gp)
  • Personal haste (2,000 gp)
  • Endure elements (1,400 gp)
  • Shield (2,000 gp)
  • Immortal vigor (1,400 gp)
  • Powerlift (L1, user is considered two size categories larger for calculating carrying capacity only) (1,400 gp)
  • The feather touch (L1, reduces the weight and mass of objects that the user touches, effectively multiplying his carrying capacity by five. However, since the effect persists for a few moments after the user releases an object it does not increase the amount of damage the user can inflict with weapons or by throwing things; it simply makes it more dramatic) (1,400 gp)
  • Ignore leverage (L1, allows the user to ignore minor mechanical principles, allowing him or her to lift unbalanced objects without toppling over or breaking them, as well as to catch people who are falling without injuring them and similar stunts) (1,400 gp)
• Immunity to encumbrance restrictions (uncommon/minor/major) (6 CP).
• Immunity to aging (uncommon/minor/major) (6 CP). Umbra Witches can expect to live for well over a millenium.
• Immunity to stacking limits when combining innate enchantment effects with external effects (common/minor/trivial); covers effects of up to level 1 (2 CP).
• Immunity to dispelling and antimagic (common/major/legendary)/specialized for one half cost, only for innate enchantments (18 CP).
• Immunity to the normal XP cost of Innate Enchantments (uncommon/minor/trivial) (1 CP).

Obviously, taking this many Innate Enchantments, and Immunities, is seriously pushing the bounds of what would fly in most games. On the other hand, this is a game where you end up punching God in the face by the end of it, so it’s not totally inappropriate.

The spells powerlift, the feather touch, and ignore leverage are taken from The Strongman template. Bayonetta’s immunity to encumbrance restrictions allows her to be treated as three size categories larger for the purposes of lifting and carrying; this stacks with powerlift allowing her to be treated as two size categories larger for the same effect. Being a medium creature, this would treat her as one size category larger than the standard d20 System goes; however, we can easily extend the pattern for how much this would increase her carrying capacity by – that being a x32 multipler. This, in turn, stacks with the x5 multiplier from the feather touch, granting her an astonishing x160 multiplier!

The end result of this is that, with a Strength of 17, Bayonetta can carry just over twenty tons of weight! Given that we see her tossing around tanker trucks and huge sections of buildings over the course of the game, this seems about right.

Secrets of the Deeper Darkness (18 CP)

• Siddhisyoga with the Efficient modifier (12 CP; 251,655 gp value)
  • Full plate +5 (39,975 gp)
  • Witchwalk (9,555 gp)
  • Ring of protection +5 (75,000 gp)
  • Amulet of natural armor +5 (75,000 gp)
  • Cloak of resistance +5 (37,500 gp)
  • Bottle of air (10,875)
  • Ring of sustenance (3,750 gp)
• Immunity to being unable to use weapons with the martial arts skill (very common/minor/major)/specialized for one-half cost, only with weapons of infernal origin (6 CP).

The witchwalk “magic item” generated here functions as so: an unlimited-use use-activated reverse gravity spell, this essentially allows the user to reorient which way is “down” once per round as an immediate action. The cost is spell level (7) x caster level (13) x 2,000 gp x 0.7 (personal-only modifier) = 127,400 gp. However, witchwalking can only be done under the light of the full moon. Since this only happens for three consecutive days a month, only at night, when outside, with a clear view of the sky, that’s such a huge restriction that it calls for a 0.05 cost multiplier, reducing it to a mere 6,370 gp. The total above reflects the 1.5 cost multiplier for taking it with Efficient Siddhisyoga.

As a 16th-level character, Bayonetta has PC-level gear worth 315,000 gp. Most of that has been spent on the above abilities. She’s also spent a total of 55,000 gp on a manual of gainful exercise +1 and a tome of clear thought +1, granting her a +1 inherent bonus to her Strength and Intelligence scores. That leaves her with just under 10,000 gp for miscellaneous expenses.

Underworld Connections (8 CP)

• Major Privilege (wealthy)/specialized for double effect, only for magic weapons (6 CP).
• Contacts/Rodin the demon-smith and Enzo the information-broker (2 CP).

Bayonetta’s major privilege explains how Rodin is willing to make her so many powerful, expensive weapons without charging for them. Taking him as a contact, by contrast, represents that she can purchase other materials from him for the normal fee.

Give Mummy Some Sugar (6 CP)

• Create Artifact/specialized and corrupted for triple effect, may only be used to create single-use, use-activated items (e.g. potions) of up to 9^th level (6 CP).

This is how, in the game, Bayonetta can concoct her own minor magic items, albeit usually in the form of lollipops. She knows a number of specific recipes, which she presumably gained from Rodin (as he sells the same materials) for unspecified “favors.” Of course, finding materials such as unicorn horns or mandragora roots with which to make these magical candies is something else again.

Do It Like Animals (12 CP)

• Shapeshift with +4 Bonus Uses (12 CP).

This allows for nine uses per day. Typically, Bayonetta will turn into a cheetah or a large raven.

A Girl’s Gotta Have a Few Secrets (6 CP)

• Action Hero/Stunts (6 CP).

This is a catch-all for any other special power Bayonetta may need to suddenly use. While Bayonetta has certainly used quite a few action points, she undoubtedly has many more left in reserve. I’d recommend somewhere around two dozen remaining (at her current level, her maximum action point pool is forty-two).

Catch a Glimpse (0 CP)

• Eldritch/Bayonetta’s hair is both for her clothing, and as a conduit for her magic. When using her Wicked Weave ability, her clothing becomes skimpy and revealing; when using an Umbran Climax, she’s left completely naked. These effects happen regardless of her wardrobe change Innate Enchantment (0 CP).

Of course, this ability had to be here.

Deals with the Devil (-24 CP)

• Pacts/Exclusion (-6 CP).
• Pacts/Guardianship (-6 CP).
• Pact/Souls (-6 CP).
• Pact/Spirit (-6 CP).

Pacts are usually used to pay for Witchcraft abilities; this is a variant where they’re instead used to grant an additional 6 CP each. As noted in the game, all Umbra Witches go to Hell when they die; the price for their infernal powers (the Spirit Pact). Similarly, Bayonetta makes numerous references to her demonic “partners” wanting to devour angels; hence the Souls Pact. The Exclusion Pact is easily justified, as Bayonetta never tries to use powers or materials from any other source than Hell. Likewise, the Guardianship Pact is in reference to the Left Eye of the World – herself. As such, it’s fairly easily fulfilled.

Combat Gear

Bayonetta has the following magic weapons crafted for her by Rodin the demon-smith:

• Scarborough Fair: a set of 4 +2 ghost touch impact Mac Ingram M10 (.45 machine pistols) of greater endless ammunition (as per endless ammunition, but works on firearms).
• Onyx Roses: a set of 4 +3 ghost touch outsider (good) bane Beretta M3P (12-gauge shotguns) of greater endless ammunition.
• Shuraba: a +1 keen ghost touch soul-drinking katana (soul-drinking functions as per vorpal, but only works on living creatures, regardless of whether they have a head or not).
• Kulshedra: a +5 deadly ghost touch whip.
• Durga: 2 +3 flaming shocking ghost touch tekko-kagi of impact.

If using the Modern d20 rules for how guns work, Bayonetta should be considered to have all of the requisite feats to use her guns’ alternate firing methods (e.g. burst fire, double-tap, etc.), as she’s taken proficiency with all simple, martial, and exotic weapons.

Bayonetta is able to load and fire a pair of guns – either Scarborough Fair or Onyx Roses – on her feet, and can fire them as easily as guns held in her hands. As she doesn’t have Two-Weapon Fighting, these are simply instances of her using these as part of her standard attacks, since she can mix and match what weapons she uses during a full attack action.

Derived Stats

• Hit points: 20 (1d20, 1st level) + 12 (2d6 immortal vigor, 1st level) + 37 (15d4) + 36 (Con. bonus) + 90 (Cha. bonus) = 195 hp.
• Speed: 30 ft. (normal) + 30 ft. (personal haste) = 60 ft.
• Saving Throws:
  • Fortitude: +10 (base) + 2 (Con. bonus) + 5 (cloak of resistance) = +17.
  • Reflex: +10 (base) + 4 (Dex. bonus) + 5 (cloak of resistance) = +19.
  • Will: +5 (base) + 2 (Wis. bonus) + 5 (cloak of resistance) = +12.
• AC: 10 (base) + 14 (+5 full plate) + 4 (shield) + 4 (Dex bonus) + 6 (Defender; dodge bonus) + 5 (amulet of natural armor) + 5 (deflection; ring of protection) + 1 (martial arts) = 49, touch 26, flat-footed 39.
• Attacks: +16 (BAB) + 3 or 4 (Str. or Dex. bonus) +1 (martial art) + 1 (unarmed strike only) + X (weapon enhancement bonus).
  • Unarmed Strike: +21/+21/+16/+11/+6 (1d4+5)
  • Scarborough Fair: +23/+23/+18/+13/+8 (2d10+2)
  • Onyx Roses: +24/+24/+19/+14/+9 (2d10+3)
  • Onyx Roses (vs good outsiders): +26/+26/+21/+16/+11 (2d10+5 plus 2d6)
  • Shuraba: +21/+21/+16/+11/+6 (1d12+4/15-20)
  • Kulshedra: +25/+25/+20/+15/+10 (1d6+8)
  • Durga: +23/+23/+18/+13/+8 (1d8+6 plus 1d6 fire plus 1d6 electricity)
• Skills: 32 (human bonus; Fast Learner) + 32 (Int. bonus) + 80 (Cha. bonus) + 1 (1 CP) = 145 skill points.

Skills	Ranks	Ability Bonus	Class Bonus	Misc. Bonus	Total
Acrobatics	16	+4 Dex	+3	+10 jump	+23 (+33 to jump)
Bluff	16 (8 skill points)	+5 Cha	+3	—	+24
Climb	6	+3 Str	—	—	+9
Diplomacy	6	+5 Cha	—	—	+11
Escape Artist	5	+4 Dex	—	—	+9
Fly	5	+4 Dex	—	—	+9
Intimidate	6	+5 Cha	+3	—	+14
Knowledge (arcana)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Knowledge (geography)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Knowledge (history)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Knowledge (local)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Knowledge (planes)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Knowledge (religion)	6	+2 Int	+3	—	+11
Martial Arts (witch-fu)	16 (8 skill points)	+4 Dex	+3	—	+23
Linguistics	4	+2	—	—	+6
Perception	16 (8 skill points)	+2 Wis	+3	—	+21
Perform (dance)	16 (8 skill points)	+5 Cha	+3	+2 synergy	+26
Sense Motive	6	+2 Wis	—	—	+8
Spellcraft	6	+2 Int	—	—	+8
Stealth	6	+4 Dex	—	—	+10
Survival	5	+2 Wis	—	—	+7
Swim	6	+3 Str	—	—	+9

Bayonetta’s class skills are the twelve class skills on the above chart that have the +3 class bonus, as well as Craft and Profession (which she’s taken no ranks in).

Bayonetta is able to speak seven languages, having one for free, two for her Intelligence bonus, and four from her ranks in Linguistics. These are English and Japanese (an in-joke referring to the game’s two language settings), Spanish and Italian (as Bayonetta comes from the European city of Vigrid in the late 15th century; the city’s actual location is never specified, but given its coastal nature and Mediterranean-inspired style, both of these languages seemed appropriate for what language she likely grew up speaking – particularly since multilingualism isn’t particularly uncommon in Europe), and Abyssal, Celestial, and Infernal (these cover the bases for her being able to converse with angels and demons, who are quite clearly speaking their own language, so easily).

Witch-fu (Str)

The actual name of this martial art is Moonlight Weave, but with the destruction of its primary practitioners, the Umbra Witches, its proper name has been lost; those few who know of this fighting style simply refer to it as “witch-fu.” This well-rounded martial art focuses on lithe, sensuous movements that allow the user to slide around incoming attacks and strike from unexpected angles for precise, powerful blows.

• Requires: Weapon Focus (unarmed strike) or equivalent point-buy.
• Basic Techniques: Attack 3, Defenses 3, Power 2, Strike, Synergy (Perform (dance))
• Advanced/Master Techniques: Combat Reflexes, Mind Like Moon, Quick Draw, Whirlwind Attack
• Occult Techniques: Inner Strength, Light Foot, Resist Pain, Vanishing
• Known: Attack 1, Defenses 1, Power 2, Strike, Synergy (Perform (dance)), Combat Reflexes, Mind Like Moon, Whirlwind Attack, Inner Strength, Light Foot, Vanishing

As mentioned previously, Bayonetta is essentially a fighter with a large bag of tricks at her disposal. While her attack bonus isn’t quite as high as you’d expect for a dedicated fighter of her level, she is still capable of delivering a rapid series of punishing hits (all the moreso with her wicked weaves, torture attacks, and judicious use of witch time). Likewise, her high speed and use of her animal forms give her a high degree of mobility, and she’ll certainly have some magic lollipops (and an action point or two) tucked away for when things become difficult.

Of course, thanks to the relentless hordes of angels after her,  Bayonetta rarely lacks for an opportunity to put her skills to good use against opponents both mundane and celestial. But as mentioned, this is Bayonetta at the end of the first game; as she’s about to find out, it isn’t just the celestial powers that have a bone to pick with her…